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The doctor's words echoed through his mind. "Terminal illness," he had called it. A death sentence.James muttered faint whispers over and over, the words obscured by the sound of his heavy breathing. It took him a while before he could actually speak aloud the phrase that had been so forcefully taking over his mind since he had heard his prognosis."Death shall not take me," he muttered. "Death shall never take me."He had watched others taken by Death. He had watched as his sister's glowing face was shrouded by the cloak of Death, his scythe whistling down to slice cleanly through the sinew and blood vessels of her delicate throat. He had watched his wife attempt to run from the spectral figure. Death had just glided towards her, undaunted, and finished his dark work.Then Death had turned to James. Past the black cloak, past the bones underneath, James could make out the only two organs that Death retained. Those black eyes, with their gleaming red pupils, would haunt his nightmares. I realized everything else I was doing to keep myself sexually happy was to keep myself away from lusting for my mother.I realized I was watching porn only because I wanted images from porn to replace the dirty thoughts of my mother. I realized I was fapping for my schoolmates only to stop myself from wanting to fap for my mom. I realized it was my mom I really wanted, and I am filled with feelings for her, that a son should never have for his mother.That night I could not sleep. All I could do was imagine my mother in different porn movies I had seen. All I could do was imagine being on the bed with her. I was hard, I could feel my young dick throbbing with excitement, and I rushed to the washroom to shoot out my load for her.I tried fapping for my mother and even after being completely overtaken by lust, I just could not masturbate myself to an orgasm. Instead, I started thinking about how my mother brought me up. I started thinking about my dad. My dad was my superhero, always.
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